On Not Receiving God’s Love

Until recently I had been largely trying to find out the reasons why I’m not receiving God’s love on my own. I didn’t really realise that it is possible to ask God for help on anything even on helping us see the reasons why we push God away even though we believe we want God. Well that was the first lesson really, a part of me feels it wants God, has a burning desire for God even but I have distanced myself from my soul and I don’t know this part of me, and I’m actively doing things to avoid the real feelings that are present that push God away. Actually it goes further than that. I had at least 3 experiences this week when people said some straight forward things to me and I had totally unexpected emotional responses. In all of them I discovered something painful….not being as nice as I thought in one instance and in the other instances the strength of the emotion showed me how terrible I feel about myself and how much more I wanted the addiction of that person making me feel good. The first lesson seems to be then I am not aware or don’t want to be aware of what’s really in my soul.  In fact, I feel my facade is real and the soul is some sort of “Despicable Me”, a troublesome teenager in the background that I want to go away and distance myself from. Logically I can see how this could happen, how we want to hide and repress all our feelings that were disapproved of to avoid punishment, ridicule and further hurt. The experience that came to mind for me was a child being asked to apologise and saying sorry when really they want to lash out in anger.

But really you don’t need to know about my personal experiences, the only point I want to make is this one, if we really want love from God we will get it. He doesn’t play games. If we are not feeling it, we are not being honest with ourselves. Something is wrong our end. Admitting I don’t have a clue has actually been a good place for me.


God’s Character

This an excerpt from  20130831 General Discussion – Q & A from People in Kentucky P2

“If someone doesn’t love you – it’s not your fault. This is a really important thing to understand from an emotional perspective, if someone doesn’t love you, it is not your fault because love is a gift, anybody could give it to anyone else no matter what they do. If someone chooses to not love you then it is not your fault that they don’t love you. It’s something going on within them that causes them to not love you and we need to come to an emotional recognition of that, that it’s not our fault that we’re not loved.

You see God loves us no matter how bad we get, no matter what we choose to do, God still loves us, no matter how devious and dark we get with our decisions God still loves us and the reason why God loves us through all that is because God loves us. It’s immaterial what you do whether God will continue loving you, you might not feel it, that’s a different issue but the reality is God loves you through all of that. If people on earth don’t love you through all of that it’s because they have chosen to not love you and that’s not your fault, that’s their choice. they have chosen to not love you and it’s very important to understand that. Very important for your emotional processing to understand that actually. Just because you’re not loved does not mean that you’re unlovable – it means that somebody chose to not love you and that was their choice and it’s immaterial what you did, that was their choice. You can be as bad as you want or as good as you want, other people could still choose to love you. God chooses to love you.”

“And someone who really loves us loves us no matter how we behave.”

“So you can’t earn the love of someone who really loves you, they already love you. There’s nothing you can do to make them love you more because they already love you, they want to love you. They want to love you whether you are bad or good, they still want to love you . There’s nothing you can do about that. You can’t earn it and you can’t make a big mistake that could cause it to stop. God will still love you through all of that. A person who loves you on earth will love you through all that.

And this is one of our primary problems we don’t believe that. We feel that we have got to earn the love of others and that when we make mistakes we’re not going to be loved. that’s not the case at all. A person who really wants to love you will love you even if you make a mistake. A person who really wants to love you will love you even if you purposefully do something wrong. They still love you because they want to love you and their love of you is not dependent upon what you do and that is how we all can learn to love. To get to that point where we are willing to love other people no matter what we do. No matter what actions they take. Even if they want to kill us we still love them.

Now if you lived in an environment like that. that would be pretty powerful environment to grow up in and to experience, to enjoy.”

Just to remind you that someone who loves you will love you no matter what and God who loves you no matter what mistakes you make, even if you do things on purpose God still loves you. Even if you do things in avoidance, God still loves you. You might not be able to feel that love while you do those particular things but God will still love you through all of that and it’s very important to understand that because you are going to be less afraid about making a mistake, you’re going to be less afraid that it’s all you, that there’s something wrong with you. From God’s perspective God created you – a perfect person – the highest of God’s creations – that’s what God created. So God loves you because God loves God’s own creations. God knows everything about you, everything you’ve done. everything you’re going to do, everything that’s inside of you. He knows all that – there is nothing you can do to impress God. He’s already impressed with his own creation. There is nothing you can do to make God disgusted  because God doesn’t feel disgust – that God gave you the gift of free will to make a choice. God knows that whenever you make a choice that is out of harmony with love you’ll feel some pain and maybe you’ll think about that but God doesn’t feel disgusted with you. It’s only people who do these things. So if we can get to the point where we understand that about God and we also understand that about each other that a person who loves us doesn’t judge us, a person who loves us always loves us no matter what we do and if that is not the case in our recurrent relationships then we go “wow” I’ve got no-one in my life who really loves me and we can feel about that and grieve that but in the end you will realise you have got God who really loves you, you have got all of our spirit friends who have been perfected in love who love you, your guide who is probably perfected in love loves you so there are a lot of people who love you but a lot of them you just can’t see.

But on earth if we can get to the point where we love other people because we want to not because of what they do but because we want to and if you are ever with a person who loves you because they want to love you and not because of what you do, you’ll find that you’ll be able to process through your emotions a lot more rapidly than what you can currently believe.”

Desiring to Co-operate with God – “What is Progression?” on YouTube

Personally I feel I’m only at the very beginning of this process which started years ago with an acknowlegment of my own pain. Now it appears the God has designed our souls to experience pain to show us when we are in any way out of harmony with her laws and wishes to give us her Love abundantly and without restriction.

It all makes me appreciate that beautiful parable/analogy recorded in the Bible of the Prodigal Son. The story is a great summary of mankind’s walking away from God and her laws, the pain and suffering that results and God’s attitude to us, as a loving parent constant and waiting for us to desire real change and real Love, to be open to rehabilitation.

There’s a song for every occasion!

Turning Points

Today is Easter Sunday in the UK and it’s the first Easter Sunday for a long time that I have not been in church. It is a great day of celebration for Christians. More important than any other day in the calendar. It celebrates a day of huge transformation and change, when Jesus was seen again by his disciples after his terrible, brutal and tragic death. The day when everything changed for his followers – a turning point for the history of the world.

It got me thinking about the significance of turning points in our lives. Mary has written recently reflecting on and discussing the significant effects of darkness, despair, depression and doubt and how wise advice and encouragement helped people trapped in these conditions. it was a turning point for them.


For myself, there were a few turning points that led me to Divine Truth teachings in the first place. I’m not going into them in any detail here but now I feel that I must have received a little Divine Love to allow me to no longer accept the normal Christian viewpoint of Christ’s death being a necessary sacrifice required by God and because Jesus was (in some way) God, God had actually made the sacrifice and paid the price. It just became abhorrent to me and I tried to force myself to believe it (how dare I not believe something that Christian scholars had debated and assured themselves for almost two thousand years) but in the end that was not possible for me.

I really wanted to bring to your attention something that really had eluded me as a Christian. I definitely feel some degree of shame still on the matter that I never really got this. The quotation is from a book called Through the Mists

“We recognize but one religion here, that is – Love; and all its disciples have but one denomination – lovers of mankind. No one of all the man-made religions holds a monopoly of this attribute. But earnest and conscientious followers of it may be found in all. Its worship is service to humanity; its litany, noble deeds, its prayers, tears of sympathy; its sermons, simple lives, known and read of all men; its songs are lullabies to soothe the brokenhearted; its faith the immolation of self; and its hope – Heaven. This is the only religion which can write the passports of heaven for the pilgrims of earth. Systems of theology have no more charm for us here than they had on earth; but in every heart there is a latent ideal towards which all mankind is blindly reaching out, a vague and undefined hope to which all the nations are ignorantly aspiring, a settlement of political problems that is only just beyond the reach of statesmen, a method of international arbitration by which peace shall reign on earth; these are all generating in the womb of futurity.”


It was a deep shock for me to discover that entry to the Kingdom of God was going to involve becoming one of the  “lovers of mankind” – this was not a joke. I was not going to be in control of my own place in God’s Kingdom by saying I believe this or that or by pretending to be nice to people. I felt I had been blindly reaching out and in no way did I understand the point of religion in this way. In fact, I came to the conclusion that I had been arrogantly assuming that following a religion and attending a church gave me some special insight into God and I was doing what God required of me. Facing this truth was hard.

Another turning point, was a talk I went to in the UK on Pseudo Spirituality. Initially I didn’t feel the talk applied to me and it was a hard talk to be at, because of the continuous interruptions and the challenge to the audience’s beliefs. The outline to the talk contrasts the attributes of real and pseudo-spirituality:


If you are in a religion and you believe you’ve got it all sorted then this list might not touch you, but it you feel there is a little possibility that all is not what it seems, that you are not really satisfied by what you hear then this list might be a useful place to start looking at what might be the cause of your unease.

Turning Points can be huge experiences at first, difficult to navigate but my experience is that we will have to get used to them and then welcome them, as God’s truth confronts every error in our soul bit by bit and we move into harmony with his world. Inevitably this will cause some trauma and challenge us and the people around us as we change and grow.






Some Favourite Quotations


Well there are many but there is a guy on facebook who has the gift of homing in on some truly awe inspiring beautiful stuff which I would like to share here. This morning it just feels like breathing in clean fresh air.

Interviewer: Are there sacred things that God teaches that he doesn’t want  other people that aren’t as progressed to know?
Jesus: No, but, let me clarify. When we are not very developed in love, there are certain things about Gods universe that we cannot understand. And when our soul is not engaged and only our mind is engaged, there are just certain things in the universe that we will just never understand while we are in that condition. To actually understand more we have to grow. Our whole life is going to be like it’s already been to a degree on this Earth in that we arrived on the Earth in the first five years we learn a lot of the basics skills. We finished up in school where we were taught  other more advanced skills and eventually we might end up in a university where we had some even more advanced skills and knowledge being given to us because we were ready for that knowledge because of what we had done previously. So the reality is that God does not wish to restrict any truth, at all, from any person that is God’s child. So all of us are God’s children, God is not wishing to restrict any truth from entering us…

However, there is this mechanism on how truth enters us, and the mechanism is how loving we become. So the more loving we become in our souls, the real heart of our souls, the more we will understand, so God is not restricting the knowledge, if you think about it, what’s happening is that we are restricting ourselves by not becoming more loving. Therefore, we are not able to fully understand the other truths. And this is what we need to come to understand… God does not restrict knowledge to any individual; however, a lack of love prevents us from understanding the higher things of God. That is the only restriction that has ever been placed on any individual who has ever been on this planet.

And if you bear that in mind, then obviously there are certain things you cannot present to certain people that are not yet loving enough to receive them. And I said that in the first century, ‘I have other things to teach you which you are not yet ready for’…Now I wasn’t stating that from the perspective that I am the mediator between you and God and therefore I have a bigger role than you or any of those kinds of perspective. I was just acknowledging the condition of love of the individuals that were listening to me and telling them that they weren’t yet ready to find another thing about love or truth when they were not yet practicing love in a way that they had already been taught.

And so if you focus everything from that perspective you will find that it is very simple. All it means is that I need to grow in love and that obviously with God I can receive God’s love and therefore grow in love and as I receive God’s love I understand automatically more of the universe around me and how it works. And I understand my body, I understand my spirit body, I understand relationships, I understand everything more. But when I restrict giving that knowledge to another person; so in other words, when I make the choice to stop you from receiving the knowledge that I already have, I am automatically being unloving. It should only be you that restricts that knowledge. So in other words, you saying to me, ‘I don’t want to know’ is a restriction of the knowledge so therefore I wouldn’t tell you. Or you having a feeling ‘I don’t want to know’, or you going into fear about what I am talking about, or you getting angry with me because of what I am talking about. Well that is all indications that you don’t want to know. And so under those circumstances I won’t say it. Quite as simple as that.

However, I would not make a decision for you, that I know something that I wish to impart to you, of course if I am truly loving I’d wish to impart everything I have ever learned to another person. And I would never restrict you from gaining that knowledge. I understand though, that you may restrict yourself from gaining that knowledge. And I feel that any religion that restricts a person from gaining certain knowledge is already out of harmony with that underline principle of love. Any religion that restricts another group of people is making a choice for that other group of people. And that in itself is not something that God will do, God does not make your choices for you and therefore if I am in harmony with God I will never make your choices for you.”


20090926 Overview Of Divine Truth – Secrets Of The Universe S1 (Transcript).pdf

8.1.8. What do you feel when passing between levels?


You have described these different levels of love. What would you have to experience and what would you have to feel to pass from one level to the next? (01:13:50)

Let me describe the 2nd and 3rd sphere transition for you. Remember there are different dimensions, different places of existence that are actually much happier, much more joyful and also much more beautiful in each case. To get from the 2nd to the 3rd sphere you have to learn a primary lesson about love, that love always tells the truth no matter what the consequences are. (01:14:25)

8.1.14. How do I know what level I am in?


I’ve come here for first time and I hope it’s not a silly question but I am just wondering -if there are so many layers, how do I find which position I am in? (01:27:45)

My suggestion is to give that up completely, to give up the desire for you to know where you are at this point. Now, when I say the majority of us on Earth are in the 1st sphere state, I am telling you a truth, and that means that the majority of us in the audience are going to be in that state. Now, you can see most of us haven’t made just the transition between the 2nd and the 3rd sphere state. How many times a day do I withhold the truth, not tell truth about what I am feeling or actually go ahead and lie about how I am feeling? That happens quite a lot, right? So, I might not have even reached that state and that’s quite easy to see. (01:28:29)

The key is to give up this question. You’re not being told this in order to measure yourself and you are not being told this in order to judge yourself, so remember that. This is not a judgement; this is just a statement of fact. We don’t want to judge ourselves by where we are. What we want to do is understand how we can grow from where we are, to where we want to be. (01:28:56).”

Moving through the Four ‘D’s {The Great Experiment Series}

Moving through the Four ‘D’s {The Great Experiment Series}.

I just wanted to share this post by Mary on the subject of darkness, despair, disillusionment and doubt. In this modern world it’s pretty easy in the West to distance ourselves from these emotions but it seems in the spirit world, not easy at all. It’s interesting to contemplate what will truly help us move through these emotions and create real and lasting happiness.

Hello and Welcome

Just a quick note to introduce myself.  I live in the UK, I’m a wife, a mother and a worker. My religious background is Christian in the Anglican or Church of England tradition. In this blog,  I’m hoping to share my journey as I attempt to have a personal relationship with the God of the universe, our creator.

I’ve been thinking about the story of the Two Sons or The Prodigal Son from the Bible (if you don’t know it you can find a version from Luke’s Gospel here).


For many years I’ve been searching for a way back to  happiness, freedom, purity and love and freedom from fear, shame, deep sadness, anger, jealousy and hurt. I’ve tried many things and some have worked for a while. I’ve tried religion (Anglican christianity), cognitive behavioural therapy, positive thinking, the Work of Byron Katie, mindfulness and meditation. They all had their drawbacks basically, for someone who is naturally lazy…they were well, hard work requiring some sort of practice (everyday) and dedication (every moment sometimes) or service that did not appeal to me after a while. Having been in a religion, I had a faint hope that with God being this omnipotent being that he would have the answer….somewhere.

So I suppose the blog really is going to be focussed on my adventure in The Way or God’s Way of Love being taught here.


I first heard about it in a newspaper article in May 2011 which is still around and can be viewed here


I know…how embarrassing I read the Daily Mail. Instead of running a mile I felt that I’d found something at last, something I’d been looking for even though at that stage I did not have any idea about the teachings. When I looked at the teachings, they completely fascinated me and it’s probably taken me all that time to really digest what the teachings promise and that is summed up in  Luke’s Gospel..

“Finally, he came to his senses and said, “My father’s workers have plenty to eat, and here I am, starving to death! 18 I will go to my father.”

So I came to realise, I was starving to death and in need of what my (heavenly) Parent could provide – right feeling, right thinking and right action through the power of Love, Divine Love.

So there it is , my experiment to see if it is possible to improve my life and have a real relationship with God by following these teachings.

Painting below By Rembrandt Harmenszoon van Rijn  derivative work: carulmare [Public domain or Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons